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A Beginning

Hello, and welcome to my online "space." My name is Emily Mahi'ai, and I have been wanting to do something like this for a long time, but beginnings can be hard. I don't like being new at stuff, feeling clumsy and clueless and incompetent. It took me years to decide to take a martial arts class because I didn't want to have to endure the "embarrassment" (all self-created) of being a white belt. I realize this is a poisonous combination of pride and insecurity, and that I need to be brave enough to toss it away. So here I am, pushing away fear and starting a new thing.

To me, everything is art. From the clothes I choose to put on to how I do the dishes to how I style (or don't style, let's be real) my hair. I'm fascinated by the study of habits and routines, and am constantly searching for new and better (cheaper, more ethical, more sustainable) ways to do everyday things, to make more time for the fun and exciting things, like going on adventures and singing and dancing and making cool stuff with my hands. One of the things I hope to share with you in this blog is my love for responsibly-made fashion, something I would not be able to devote time and money to if I hadn't started learning simplicity.

One of the reasons habits and minimalism have become so important to me is that I suffer from chronic pain, anxiety and depression. The chronic pain is caused by what the rheumatologist thinks is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic disorder that my grandmother also happens to have. Living with pain has been teaching me to fight for what's important, and to simplify my life so that I can live the best way I can with what little I have. When there is only a little bit of energy for each day, I have to micromanage how I spend it. I don't want too much extra fluff weighing me down when I already feel as if there are cement blocks tied to all my limbs. Like many people, I overthink everything, and the more I work on knowing who I am and what I love most, the less I have to worry about being burdened by stuff and ideas that I don't need.

I hope you will enjoy following along as I figure out how to live a full, adventurous, happy life as a person with chronic pain. I'm excited to share with you what I have to say.


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